A friend asked me yesterday to take his place as Father Christmas at the local School. It would take an hour "You'll need to get a Police Check on your background to find any criminal records from the past" he said.

What sort of country are we leaving to our children? The USA has the same problem as Britain and Europe.

The problems. The examples are drawn from Britain, but you can find equivalents in the USA and in Europe.

Setting central targets for organisations.

Police spend £4,000 prosecuting a child who had stolen a sausage roll. The police are set targets to prosecute crimes. No distinction is made between a sausage roll theft and a murder. So anyone whose career is determined by their ability to hit a target will go for the softest options.

Organisations run for their own satisfaction and needs.

My council will not take away rubbish from my home if the lid on the bin is not tightly closed.

Cod stocks are threatened by over-fishing. So when we catch more cod than we are allowed then we throw it back into the water dead. Tons and tons and tons of it.

I got a parking ticket today - quite right I was 20 minutes over the time allowed, no grumble. But she had to take six photographs of my car, the number plates front and back, the ticket. She also had to keep them on file probably for years.

If you control a smoke free zone such as a pub, then it is your job to enforce the rules, not that of the police. You will be likely to be prosecuted if you use force, and also you'll be prosecuted if you don't do anything.

Advertising campaigns are run on television to urge people to report on any workers you pay in cash. You must tell the Inland Revenue so your tradesmen can be prosecuted. I last saw this kind of requirement to report on neighbours in South Africa in the apartheid days.

Fear of legal action.

I cannot ruffle a child's head, I cannot videotape my badminton partner playing in a match even for training purposes.

Games of conkers are banned, or a children's sack race will be canceled because no insurance can be obtained. Parents will sue if Johnny falls over.

Poor budgeting for services.

In Dalry, Edinburgh you pay £80 for a parking ticket but you cannot find a space. Most motorists park for free because the council cannot police the parking zone. If you've paid you will not get back your money.

We let criminals out early because we have not enough prison space for them. Not just a few, thousands of them.

Fear of adverse press and television comment.

Al Quaida has won. 56 people were killed in the London bombings including the bombers. As a result, there is massive regulation in every aspect of our daily lives. Identity cards will be introduced. We can lock up suspects now for 28 days. Yet we kill 3,000 people on the roads every year.

Legislators are afraid of what Rupert Murdoch will say through his editors if anything goes wrong.

Too many bureaucrats to find work for.

If my car seat belt is not engaged a dreadful noise results. They must produce new regulations to keep in their jobs. What right have they to intrude upon my private behaviour like this? There is an overwhelming need to find work for bureaucrats to do.

If I have my cousins and a friend to play at my wedding in the marquee in the garden, I must have an entertainments licence.

London Police Chief Sir Ian Blair has said that as a young man, a young constable in the 1970s, he could arrest and process three criminals in a single shift, while today it takes two officers a whole shift to process just one.

The European Union has not had its financial accounts signed off for seven years by the auditors because of corruption allegations. This would not be tolerated in any private company.

The need to measure something, anything.

I cannot get more than three stars from Visit Scotland for our 150 year old holiday cottage in Scotland. This because the walls are not quite true. We have the most wonderful view, our service is warm and impeccable, and guests are totally delighted. Never a complaint from guests, even a mild one, since we started. These factors can't be measured easily. But the walls can be measured. But they must measure the walls even if the guests don't care.

Also we have to have a carpet with 80% wool content. Who cares?

3,000 people are killed on the roads each year in Britain. We put down speed cameras when speed is one of the minor causes of road deaths compared to the majority of deaths caused by inattention and carelessness about which nothing can be done.

Heath and safety. Oh, where do we start?

Gas fitters are not allowed to change an electric timer on a boiler they install. It must be done by an electrician.

Youngsters in some schools have been banned from playing tag, others have been banned from playing kiss chase, and banned from linking arms, banned from throwing snowballs, and some mothers have been banned from making tea. At one school the only time that a child can touch another child is when one has fallen over. The local council is frightened of Health and Safety and washed its hands of the issue - "up to the school" they said.

Straightforward stupidities.

Rules have always had their stupid side but look at this lot. A religious movement in Britain can set up places of worship where they teach tactics to overthrow the country they have come to live in. I could possibly be prosecuted for pointing that out.

We have an epidemic of binge drinking by young people. So, we open up pubs for 24 hours drinking.

A school in Fife is reported as having introduced a successful scheme to calm "problem" teenagers. Basically, it works like this: you exhibit violent or aggressive behaviour in a classroom, and the school pays for horse riding lessons for you.

Tagging orders for a terrorist suspect. He is not allowed to make arrangements to meet anybody, but he can drop in to see anyone if he does so unannounced. A suspect terrorist is banned from having visitors to his home unless they are vetted in advance, but he is allowed to arrange to attend group prayers at a mosque.

The German army in Afghanistan must stop fighting in the evenings to refresh, watch television and get ready to fight a little the next day. In case someone might get hurt.

JW